MORE FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES...

 

• [Drunken voice] You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!
• [In a bored voice] Heaven, God speaking...
• [in a computer generated voice] Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
• [in a computer generated voice] Leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message after you hear the beep, and we will keep track of this stuff until the real people get back.
• [Lots of phone pick-up noise] Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number, I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did you say you live?
• [Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice] Hello, this is the executioner. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back.
• [Must have good Australian accent] G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile. Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you.
• [Note the spelling in this one!] After the tone, please leave a massage—my shoulders really could use it, and... What? You're only supposed to leave a MESSAGE? Darn....
• [Star Trek theme in the background] [Voice 1] Room 17, the final frontier. [Voice 2] These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two-semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. [Voice 3] To boldly inform you to wait for the tone.
• [Very fast] Hi, this is 555-5555. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP.